Would You Like Relish On That, Sir?

As we all try and recycle to produce less waste for landfill, our population grows and our cities swell. Bigger cities mean more human waste to process to keep our rivers clean and the sludge builds up from the processing plants. Tokyo was having a problem with too much sewage sludge and handed the problem to Professor Ikeda of the Okayama Laboratory.

Like all good scientists when handed a sticky problem, he decided to go back to basics and think outside the box. The sludge had gone through the usual aerobic bacterial treatment, so had lots of proteins from the bacteria. Now, a good piece of Kobe beef is about 63% protein, 25% carbs, 9% minerals and 3% lipids. So far, so good.

Now, the Ah–Ha moment and a good bio–lab. The proteins were extracted and beefed up, so to speak, with some GM soy. Then colored red with regular food dye like the butchers use in the supermarkets. Now comes the tricky bit. These were all stirred up with a secret sauce called a reaction enhancer and placed in an exploder to puff it up a little. The result is extruded, as if by magic, in red slabs of neo-steak.

The planned price is aimed at the normal price for red meat. The Kobe beef industry probably won’t have to feel threatened, unless, I wonder, unless the raw materials are collected solely from heavy beer drinkers. The hamburger market is particularly ripe for the introduction of neo-beef as it is low in fat and carbs. This new product will surely be a recommended part of any good slimming diet.

A good microbrew and poop sliders as an appetizer, yummm! I dare anybody to say "this tastes like chicken."

  1. http://www.digitaltrends.com/international/japanese-scientists-creates-meat-out-of-feces/

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