Nice Package!

Here on the West Coast, we love our pets and show our care with lavish gifts of fancy toys. The numbers of our pets seem also to be increasing. Perhaps it’s a symptom of the economic downturn that at my apartment block, dogs used to be a no, no but now its yes, welcome and the number of dogs of all sorts and sizes has mushroomed over the past year.

Of course, they must be turned out properly with collars and, more frequently, harnesses chosen for color and style to match their personalities. In poor weather they are smartly turned out in cozy waterproof coats. They march sedately alongside their minder or trot along after them on a bicycle. Rarely, these days do I see happy dogs chasing a ball or stick with tongue lolling out, or trying to herd pigeons or crows who seem to be unaware of being in need of organization.

But appearances are important and our dog is chosen to be another statement of our cool lifestyle. And, apparently, therein lies a problem. In a piece in Wednesday’s San Francisco Chronicle, Amelia Glynn puts her finger firmly on a problem. We all know that responsible pet owners get their pets neutered to reduce problems of overpopulation, strays and unfortunate behavior.  But there is, apparently, a reluctance among many owners to get this done because their macho male dog would no longer look the part.

The answer is now available. Neuticals supply silicone rubber implants to restore your dogs current wimpy appearance to full robust prominence. They no longer have to hang their tail in shame, but can wag it with abandon knowing that they will be receiving admiring glances from all and sundry.

For those poor mutts who still are trying to deal with their loss in spite of their new implants giving their package a well-filled appearance and whose ears are hanging down with that hangdog expression, there is also a solution. PermaStay ear implants will keep those ears upright and eager.

In case your preferred pet isn’t a dog, there is a range of testicular implants available in sizes suitable for rats up to buffalos, so they all can look whole again. Mice, apparently, will just have to get over it!

A nice touch mentioned in the SFC article reports that it is possible to purchase Neuticals in the form of earrings. The perfect birthday gift for the woman with a new trophy husband, wouldn’t you say?

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